How I Discovered Ulysses Syndrome and Learned to Feel at Home in Barcelona
Starting over in a new country sounds exciting — but what happens when the adventure comes with anxiety, loneliness, and unexpected grief? Here’s my story of rebuilding a life, one walk, one friendship, and one beach day at a time.
The Excitement (and Fear) of a New Beginning
I love new beginnings — that feeling of freedom and endless possibilities. But when “new beginnings” mean creating a completely new life in a new city while raising two young children (5 and 7), that freedom can feel overwhelming.
I had changed countries before — in my late 20s, no kids, no responsibilities. But this time, the excitement came with something else: inexplicable fear and anxiety. Even small tasks, like going to the supermarket, suddenly felt intimidating.
At first, I judged myself: Why do I feel like this? It’s just buying food! But I soon learned that it wasn’t about the supermarket. It was about the loss of familiarity — the invisible comfort of knowing how things work.
What Is Ulysses Syndrome? The Hidden Stress of Moving Abroad
Journalism is in my blood, so I started researching what I was feeling — and discovered something called Ulysses Syndrome. It was identified by a professor from Barcelona (of all places).
Ulysses Syndrome — also known as the immigrant syndrome of chronic and multiple stress — describes a set of emotional and physical symptoms that appear when someone experiences the intense stress of migration. It can manifest as:
Anxiety and sadness
Sleep disturbances
Physical fatigue
Feelings of isolation or loss
In short, it’s a form of chronic stress unique to migrants — a condition only those who have moved countries truly understand.
“You’re So Lucky to Live in Barcelona!”
What made it harder this time were the well-meaning comments from friends:
“You’re living in Barcelona — one of the most beautiful cities in the world!”
And yes, Barcelona is beautiful — the weather, the culture, the sea. But when you’re struggling to find your rhythm, even paradise can feel heavy.
When I moved to Luxembourg years ago, no one was envious — some even questioned our decision (haha, but that’s another story). This time, the envy made my inner critic louder: Why aren’t you grateful? Everyone says you should be happy.
It took a long time to accept that gratitude and anxiety can coexist. That loving a place doesn’t mean the transition is easy.
The Psychology of Migration: Mourning Your Old Life
Psychologists describe this adjustment as a kind of mourning — grieving the life, community, and identity you left behind. According to research, it can take at least five years to truly feel “at home” in a new country.
I’m three years into living in Barcelona, and while I’ve made progress, I’m still finding my balance.
How I’m Coping with Expat Anxiety and Building a Life in Barcelona
1. Build a Community
I’m a functional introvert, so putting myself out there wasn’t easy. But I pushed myself to connect — especially with other parents at school. Most were going through the same thing, and that shared experience helped.
Tip: Building friendships abroad is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient, stay open, and keep showing up.
2. Create Small Habits That Boost Your Mood
Working from home, I noticed some days I barely moved. So I started evening walks around Camp Nou — they do wonders for my mood.
Now I also walk to school pickup (about 30 minutes each way). It’s become my daily “transition ritual” from work to family time.
3. Plan Something to Look Forward To
When we first arrived, I made it a ritual to try a new restaurant every Friday — sometimes in our neighborhood, sometimes downtown.
As the girls grew older (and more tired in the evenings), that tradition evolved into “Soirée Cinema” — family movie night with popcorn and total darkness. It’s our little ritual of joy.
4. Talk to People
People in Barcelona are wonderfully friendly — they smile, greet you, and often chat at the bus stop or the butcher. It’s refreshing, fun, and a great way to practice Spanish.
Tip: Even small social interactions help you feel connected — don’t underestimate the power of a smile.
5. Go to the Beach Often
The Mediterranean Sea has a special way of calming the mind. Even though we don’t live right by the beach, we go at least once a week.
Our family loves Bogatell Beach — the kids adore the climbing structures and nearby park. Sometimes we venture out to Castelldefels or Gavà, which are just as beautiful.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This Journey
Starting over is both exciting and hard. But with time, small routines, and kind connections, the new becomes familiar. Step by step, you build a life that feels like yours.
If you’re experiencing Ulysses Syndrome, or simply struggling to adapt after moving abroad, know that you’re not alone.
Have you ever felt this sense of mourning after moving countries? How did you cope?
Share your experience in the comments — I’d love to hear your story.